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That's What I Like

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Consistency, effort, communication and responsiveness...



That's what I like.




I read this quote on someone's feed the other day and it couldn't be more true.
If I like you enough, no matter how hard my instinct is trying to fight my feelings (whether lust or otherwise) I'll totally let you go ahead and fuck me up.
I may highly regret it later but in the moment, I'll enjoy it for what it is.
I think this holds true for pretty much the majority of people. If you really like someone - and I'm talking lust with a large side of intrigue - you'll take the risk.

And by taking the risk, you're making and contributing time to try and get to know this person.You're being consistent and putting in actual work, actual effort because that person brings you just a little smile, brings you a little warmth and let's be honest, makes you tingle in the most private areas of your body and mind.



You cannot claim to feel a real attraction to someone if you cannot be bother…

Hi, How You Been?

I read these words yesterday evening and had quite a handful of post traumatic flashbacks.
This message was sent to me yesterday afternoon at some point while I was running around trying to get my life in order.

I have been slowly piecing everything together finally after all that's happened in the past 2-3 years and boy has it been a hell of a process.

How have I been?

In this past month alone, I have made a very big change in my life
As a matter of fact, I'm living my life like a displaced refugee.

But let's be real.
This person, does not really care how I've been.
They are reaching out because they want something from me.
What could I possibly offer someone who was a crucial part of why I've been uprooted in such a way?

Money? Comfort? Friendship?

I have none of these things to offer.
I have exhausted all of these parts of myself.

The real question is... why does it seem that every single time we seem to start getting a grasp of ourselves, our lives, that very p…

Unfinished Business

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I got to thinking today about how so many people jump from one relationship to another without being completely out of the last one.  I don't see anything wrong with being an adult and moving on quickly.  My only issue is with those people who haven't completely ended things with the last person before deciding they're good to go with the next. 
Look, I realize it's a risk to let something potentially good go, because you're not 100% out of the previously bad.  But it's also not fair to that potentially good person to engage in any thing with them when you're not even sure where you stand with the last person.... you're still fornicating with the last person... or you simply aren't over that last person. 


There's nothing wrong with not being ready. And it's cool to be honest about your situation as well. But no matter how honest you are, let's face it... this previous baggage may cause serious danger to something that can possibly be won…

Transparency

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The biggest problem with dating and relationships is that many people are not transparent right up front.

They like to play the guessing game.
A guessing game that can be very dangerous with many questions answered with "I don't know yet," or "Maybe"s.  
The problem is that if you truly don't want something, and the person you are pursuing does, then you are leading them to think you do or that you may change your mind and end up totally fucking up their plans.
You can't be a "go with the flow" person on every subject.
You've gotta have some direction.

If you have children and you're afraid that the other person will run away screaming, then clearly that person is not for you unless you're a deadbeat parent who doesn't really engage with your children anyway. But even then, say so.  And in that case in which you are a deadbeat, then there's clearly something wrong with you and the person  you're dating anyway.. so bas…

A New Generation of Love

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As I was getting my mani/pedi the other day, I was watching the entertainment news on their flat screen regarding how Janet Jackson has filed for divorce from her billionaire husband after giving birth to his one and only heir.  An older woman next to me started ranting about how people generally don't take relationships seriously anymore and how she and her husband have been together for 40+ years.  My cynical side immediately thought, how many times have you put up with his cheating to survive 40 years of marriage?  Of course, all I did was nod and smile. J laughs at me when I tell him about my inappropriate thoughts in the midst of conversation. I know he'll miss that about me someday. 

Look, I'm not saying that love and marriage like that can't last. I'm positive if my mother had stayed with her high school sweetheart, I would've had a different last name right now. Unfortunately, that's not how things went down. And in thinking about why there are so ma…

Be Your Own Guide

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My unsolicited advice today is simply to.... STOP TAKING OTHER PEOPLE'S ADVICE!




The words of those false prophets.... the ones who are constantly spewing out gibberish that sounds right but doesn't feel right. Those same people who've remained stagnant throughout the years. Those who have not grown or evolved but instead continue to regress in their behaviors and patterns, never going anywhere or really doing anything... never fulfilling their hopes, dreams, goals.....



Stop listening to them. They have no idea what they're doing by spreading their ignorance. The damage they are causing to the public claiming some higher being is speaking through them......Using them as the vessel.  Please!
Why can't YOU be your own vessel to life decisions, opinions and subjects that actually matter? If you cannot trust yourself to form your own judgments, when you should know yourself best, then what makes you think it's a good idea to let an outsider do so?



Be your own guide. Pred…

Beware of Projectors

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As it goes, in my short life, I've noticed that the most popular defense mechanism people use is projection.  Projection is the misattribution of an individual's ugly thoughts, feelings or impulses upon another individual who is not experiencing these same thoughts, feelings or impulses (McLeon, 2009).  It is used when the thoughts may seem unacceptable for the person to express.  That individual may simply feel uncomfortable having these thoughts or feelings.  What happens is the individual lacks insight into their own motivations and feelings (McLeod, 2009).  

Have you ever been in an argument with an unreasonable and incredibly stupid person who keeps calling you the very things you know they are but won't admit to being?  That is projection.   I recall a time some years ago, in which an individual couldn't trust me because I'd found out their ugly little secret (not only ugly but continues to this day).  I recall laughing in their face because everything they&#…