The Misconception of Affection

Why do people assume that women want or need to be cuddled after sex?

I feel like it's usually men who secretly want to cuddle and somehow they pawn it off on us women.  I, personally, am not huge on cuddling unless I'm cold and need some warming up.  And when I go to sleep, I prefer to stay on my side of the bed while the other person sleeps on the other side.  Not touching.  I don't like it when a leg is thrown over mine because it makes me feel trapped and I get hot at night so it's not exactly a turn on to wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat, with a heavy arm wrapped around me and someone literally breathing down my neck

Cuddling, to me, is like foreplay.  Something that should take place before sex.  Not after. 

It's not that I'm entirely against non-sexual, physical affection, (I LOVE hugs), but just don't assume that after the deed is done, we all want to cuddle.  A good portion of us want the same things men want after sex.  To sleep or to bounce (depending on the situation).

How about holding hands?

This is something I'd rather not do.  I'm not 5.  The only time I enjoy a proper hand holding - where the fingers are interlocked - is when my hands are freezing from the cold weather.  Okay, here again, I'm not against touching my partner in public, but how about we link arms?  It makes me feel safer and more comfortable than holding hands with someone and eventually finding my hand clammy due to the body heat.  *Gag*

Really, what are you saying with hand holding?  Are you making it known that this other person belongs to you?  Do you honestly believe others care?  Trust me, if there are other people that are determined to interfere in your romance, they could care less that you're holding hands and they'll find a way to make their moves later on.  And don't get me started on the technicalities.  Trying to keep pace with your partner, and avoiding other couples or groups walking down the street but having your partner not want to let go of your hand.  It's more work to hold my hand, than it is for me to link my arm through theirs and unlink when necessary.  And what's wrong with walking side by side without touching?

It's the same with any form of PDA.

Kissing me in public like a hormonal teenager, not okay.  If you need to show the world that we are sexually active on any level, then there's obviously something more serious lacking and I no longer want to participate.  Please keep certain things private.  A peck here and there on the cheeks, forehead and on the lips is perfectly acceptable.  Sticking a tongue down my throat while grabbing my ass on the corner of Broadway and 42nd street during rush hour... NOT acceptable.

So please do not assume, when starting a relationship that ALL women like to cuddle.  Get your facts straight and if necessary, ask.  Some of us like it, and some of us don't.  And don't get offended if it's a "don't" because it doesn't mean we like you any less.  It just means we enjoy our space as much as you may enjoy yours.


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