Seek and Ye Shall Find

A hard lesson I've learned over the past couple of years is that if you look for something, you will find it.

Call it instinct... call it intuition.... But in the end, call it what it is... SNOOPING!

A bad habit many of us have is stalking our significant others via social networks... looking through their electronics...breaking into emails,  etc.
Whether we choose to admit it or not, each of us is guilty of at least one of these things at least one time in our lives. 
I'm sure we all have stories of how badly THAT ended...

It's true, you may have "found" something you sort of knew was there.
However, if your instinct told you that it was there, then maybe you should be re-evaluating your relationship or lack of a relationship with that person.  That should be enough to set off the red flags.

And what exactly are you looking for?
Evidence of what? Don't you know that this is just a form of "Self Sabotage"?

Let me tell you what happens when you snoop.
When you snoop, you're usually looking for something you already kind of know is there.
When you find it, you use that as an excuse to start a fight, end a relationship, or do your own dirt.
Usually, whatever you find is not enough to do any of the above.

First of all, you shouldn't have been looking for anything.  If you're in a relationship or just even dating, you should trust the person until you have a valid reason not to trust them any more.  Otherwise, why are you sharing any part of yourself with them? And if you're not living with the person or married to them, who gives you the right to look through any of their things? I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate it if they started snooping through yours.

Secondly, whenever you find whatever it is you think you're looking for in the first place, it ends up being something small that you blow out of proportion.  Maybe an old email from when you were just barely dating this person... maybe it's a text from who knows who or what that has been misread and this person is just that absent minded that they haven't erased it... or a picture they're holding onto for who knows what reason (but usually not the reason you're assuming it is).  And here's when it gets tricky... usually you find those things when you're not even seriously involved with that person and you feel some sort of invisible ownership....yet, nothing's been established. 

Do you really need a picture, a text, or an email to be the reason you broke it off with them?  And what are the chances this person you're just casually dating may be "the one" but because you decided to snoop, and make a mountain out of a mole hill, you've risked losing it all?

At the end of the day, just don't do it to yourself. 
If you are meant to "find" something, it will probably find you first.
You'll get a phone call, or something will be left behind at YOUR place, or you'll run into an awkward situation.  And I'm sorry to say, it's usually when you least expect it!
If your sixth sense is telling you something is up, confront the person and maybe just dump their ass.  It's easier than all the headaches you'll give yourself investigating something that's probably not even really there.

Regardless, there is NO need to look through anyone's personal belongings because at the end of the day, you'll find something that's just not worth the anxiety, annoyance... or possibly losing the best thing you could've ever had!


Popular posts from this blog

Attention Seekers

Single Ladies Beware