The Non-Relationship

The "non-relationship" is one in which you follow some of the same rules of a real relationship (i.e. mainly monogamy, putting time aside for one another, etc.) but you're not considered in a real relationship because there are external factors that are currently interfering (i.e. distance, finances, etc.).  You can't fully give yourself to the person you're seeing at the moment the way you'd like to because you don't have your shit together basically.  So rules like spending holidays together, or going to events together are not mandatory.

All of the feelings that should be in an actual relationship are there - emotionally and physically - but the reason you haven't declared the other person your partner is because either one or both of you just aren't ready.

All credit goes to "Omar" for coining the phrase and the meaning behind it.  Her logic (and I totally agree with her) is that at our age, if you're going to embark on an actual relationship, then you're at a place where you're actually planning for the future with your partner.  You are on the verge of moving in together, or maybe getting engaged, marriage may be a frequent topic of conversation.  Whereas, when you're in a "non-relationship" you're still testing the waters out because you just don't have the means to be in an official partnership with someone no matter how much you'd like to be.

What a frustrating situation!

There are perks to being in a "non-relationship" such as taking your time to really get to know and tolerate the other person rather than jumping into something right away.  Figuring out if this person fits your needs or if you fit theirs.

However, the biggest issue I see is that sometimes you can clearly see how you both fit together but there's so much that still needs to get done before you can accomplish anything together.  That's when possessiveness, jealousy and the lack of common sense kick in.  Logic goes out the window.  You want so badly to just be "in it" that you forget that you're not there yet. There's a very thin line between being in one and not quite being there yet.

My beautiful and intelligent sister yesterday stated, "Marriage is a death unto you every day..."
If marriage is a death unto you every day...what is this?!?!?!? And what will that mean later on????
Thank goodness for my support system. What would I do w/o all of you?

I can only say this.  At the age of 31, this is definitely the hardest thing I've ever had to do.... so far.


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