Yesterday, I made one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make.
I had to let go of someone that could've and, sort of has been, a huge part of my life in a very, very short period of time.
When I look at the situation as a whole, I realize that I did the right thing.
I am in no place to date or start any sort of relationship.
I'm not ready.
I have yet to release all of the turmoil and negativity of relationships past.
Yes, I am in a better place, but not in the best place.
The problem was that I met someone who was just absolutely, consumingly beautiful.
His aura was just breathtaking.
However, he is certainly not where I would need him to be in order to pursue anything... and I'm apparently not there myself. His options are beyond open and I'm not even sure how open I should be keeping mine.
I can't trust myself to keep a friendship with someone I've already developed minimal feelings for.
Where I'm at, I need to just focus on me and healing me and some more of me.
I felt and still feel a bit terrible. Absolutely awful.
And had I not crossed any of the boundaries that make a friendship platonic, then he would've been one of my closest friends.
Maybe sometime in the future we'll cross paths again, but more than likely we won't.
If I have learned anything from this, it's when you know something is going to go sour, it's best to protect yourself. When instinct kicks in, you listen and you back away before the pain sinks far too deep.
I'm not saying we should guard ourselves from everyone and suspect everyone of foul play. What I am saying is when you just feel that something is wrong and/or will go wrong, the best thing to do is back off before anyone gets hurt.
Your gut will keep you sane in the long run and save you from yourself.