Beating Around the Bush

My BFF and I ranted yesterday to one another regarding these situations we find ourselves in regarding dishonest, insincere men... After some thinking about everything we discussed, she came up with the following:

"Fuck beating around the bush...
If sex is all you want...
Make that shit clear!
If you want a relationship...
Make that shit clear!!
If you want somebody to talk to while your significant other is acting up...
Make that shit clear!!!
Don't take it upon yourself to use anybody!!!
Make it clear in the beginning
Then you won't have problems in the end!!"

An ex of mine, totally missed the point stating that a person shouldn't be hurt with honesty, instead, we should move on.  In other words, they don't have to know that you don't want to be with them or that you want to be with someone else. 

YES, we certainly DO need to know what's up!!! Otherwise, you've left us wondering WTF happened OR you leave us believing you might come back even if you don't! 

If you're just honest, the pain is absolutely minimal to the person you are dealing it to. You should not worry about being honest to save yourself the guilt or worry about hurting someone by telling them the truth.
You should worry about, how your silence or deception is going to destroy lives or relationships in the long term. 
If you cheat, then you're not only lying to the other person, you're also deceiving yourself because you're telling yourself that you still want the person you're with, while smashing others which is probably not the case if you're doing your dirt..... In reality, you may not be willing to let that person go and you would like to keep your options open in case there's something else out there...  If you're open about this, guess what! You may have the chance to redeem yourself!!! But if your partner is worthy, they may never ever forgive or forget your deceit based on your stupidity!  In this case, person dealing the honesty might just get a second chance. 

Of course, there are some individuals that are dumb enough to give their partners 10th, 11th and 12th chances regardless of the situation because they're just that stupid, pathetic, immature and desperate. But for those of us with some class, maturity and at least half a brain, those of us who are honest ourselves and respect ourselves... we can at least say... "Damn, at least he was real with me... Can't hate him for that...." And at least we'll have a CHOICE as to whether we want to continue something that may go nowhere, or whether we want to end it. 

 Whatever happens after we know that the individuals we're investing in are not really investing as much in us, and it is now on US to decide, do we even want to continue this dead end or is this worth seeing if the games will end? And it IS in fact possible that the games will end one day!

And in the case, in which you're merely carrying on a sexual relationship with someone with a little friendship thrown in... let me just make you aware of the fact that if the person you're smashing hits you up out of nowhere, while you're doing something you may not entirely feel comfortable sharing... they probably already know you're doing it... and in turn, that is why they're hitting you up... to see if you'll admit to what you're doing.  Don't underestimate us. If you want to ensure that you continue having this sexy random hook up or cuddle buddy - trust in the fact that honesty is IN FACT the very BEST policy. 

At the end of the day... when all is said and done, it's not about being honest to relieve our guilt and cause others pain... It's about being honest in order to save the other person the headache of wondering why, why, why and never having an answer, making us feel for a mere second like we were the ones doing something wrong. Why not just know from the jump? "This is NOT exclusive" orrrrr... "I want to date other people and keep my options open, YOU should do the same..."

The clearer you are about what's really going on, the less headaches you'll have and you'll save yourself the nosebleeds later! 


Popular posts from this blog

Attention Seekers

Single Ladies Beware