Unsolicited Advice

Have you ever just felt like venting about a situation?
Just going off on a rant about nonsense because at that very moment you just feel like screaming?

If you are anything like me, all you want is for someone to listen, right?
Have them let you rant, maybe have that person throw in a "HELL YEAH!" or "I feel you!!" or "I hear that!!" or even "That bastard!!!" every once in a while and just have the conversation or rant die out.

But there's always that one person that you go to hoping they'll listen and instead, they offer unsolicited advice.
In other words, you are bitching about your day at work or that person whose attention you've been trying to get for a hot minute, and the one you're talking to starts giving you advice.
They say things like, "Why don't you do it this way...?"  or "Have you tried this?"

This irritates the SHIT out of me.



Why?

If I didn't straight out ask for your opinion, chances are, I don't want it.
If my rant didn't start with, "I need help..." or "I need suggestions..." or "I need advice..." then I don't want to hear a word from you regarding how you think I should handle a situation.
It's plain old annoying.
Just because I'm angry at that moment while I'm venting, doesn't necessarily mean, I need you to save the day.

And here's the other thing...
MORE than likely... because that person you're talking to is so preoccupied with coming up with shitty solutions, they haven't really listened to a word you are saying.
Usually, that results in endless interruptions when you're telling your story and more than likely you've already tried the solution they think they've come up with on their own.
Which makes me feel like you think I'm a complete blithering idiot, or perhaps, you're the idiot for offering me a solution I've already tried!



How about you just LISTEN to what I'm telling you, rather than try to be a problem solver?
It would save us both a headache.
I won't get annoyed that you are pointing out obvious solutions, and you won't get annoyed that you told me so later on.

Many of you out there are reading this, either nodding in agreement with me or annoyed because I called you out on your unsolicited opinions.  Here's an easy way to solve this problem.



If you are the person who simply needs an ear to listen, say so from the beginning.  If that person doesn't get it, walk away and don't vent or rant in their direction again.  They obviously suck and lack active listening skills.

If you are the person who can't help but offer advice you weren't asked for, ask the person, "Can I offer you my advice? opinion? suggestion?"  If the person says no and that annoys you, then before they start their rant, tell them you don't want to hear it.  Sure, that'll  make you a "bad" friend, but trust  me you'll thank me later for not wasting your time giving that person useless useful information.




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