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Showing posts from August, 2013

Follow the Leader

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I don't see myself as much of a leader... or much of a follower.
I usually just do my own thing, whatever that is, and it usually works out for my benefit.

I've learned that being my own person and going along with whatever my mood tells me to go along with saves me tons of headaches.



Unfortunately, this concept of just "doing your own thing" is lost on certain individuals I am forced to deal with on a regular basis.

What gets me most is why certain people who are fully capable of leading their own flock would subject themselves to following those that are poor examples of human beings.  People who are not only physically bad examples but just all around train wrecks.



Ask yourself this, if the person you're following is giving you advice on some aspect of your life in which their life is a disaster, should you continue following them?  For instance, if you're listening to someone tell you how to lose weight and that person is 300+ lbs... should you really be…

Pride: The Struggle

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Have you ever had a really bad urge to contact someone or say something to someone but made a promise to yourself NOT to because of something that same someone did or didn't do to you previously?



You pick up your phone, stare at their number and maybe start to write a message but then you stop yourself because you think, "Oh hell no! I won't be the one to reach out first!!!"



Maybe that person isn't necessarily bad but wherever you left off with them wasn't exactly good either.  And so you're probably DYING inside, but you just can't bring yourself to reach out because then you've lost the battle and you just can't be the loser in this scenario... or you don't want to be labeled like all of the "others" in their past.



Here it is, you're struggling because you're thinking, "Damn, why hasn't this person begged for my forgiveness yet?" or "Damn, what did I do or say last? Why haven't they reached out?&q…

The Goat

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How do you know if you're dating or are friends with a goat?



Well, besides their birthday... the following is a list of the most common characteristics goats have - both negative and positive.

When you first meet a goat, they are the most charming individuals.  They are also quite handsome/or pretty but not in an obvious way... usually they have beautiful eyes and enchanting smiles.  A goat will get you right where it hurts and feels good right away.



Goats are also big on affection.  Whether they know you or not, if a goat is attracted to you, they will pour on the terms of endearment and caress your face and your hair in only the way they can. It'll make your hair stand on end and your heart cry just a little bit for more, more, more!

Goats also come off as being overly optimistic and eager in all aspects of life.  Along with this, they tend to be very funny, cracking jokes even at their own expense.  But this, ladies (and gents) is where it gets tricky.

While the optimism…

An Unhealthy Injury

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Most of my loyal readers (who I absolutely love && appreciate) know me personally.
They know that I've spent the last couple of months working on me - my overall health and fitness - both mental and physical.

It's been a long and difficult journey and only gets harder as the days go by and I hit plateau after plateau. 



I've learned that once I hit a bump, I need to just vary what I'm doing until that doesn't work and then it's on to the next thing... and so on and so on....blah blah blah....

About two weeks ago, I told my "support" group that it was about that time that I had to switch it up and try something different.  And so I did.  I decided to change my eating habits (again) because I'm dead set on losing 17 lbs by the end of the year. 



I went ahead and started adding limes and cucumbers to my water and I started the art of juicing.  I changed what I eat in the mornings and what I eat in the evenings and in a week, I was already seei…

Froggy Fridays: Mirror, Mirror... Fat Frog

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Mirror mirror on the wall…that’s what my fat frog would say. 


He didn’t need me to kiss him to life because he’s just that self centered.  I tried several times to meet the prince within this fat frog however, he couldn’t let go of that damn mirror.  


I shouldn't lie, my frog was good at holding my attention and he had good conversational skills especially in the beginning of our friendship.... but you know how that goes... after some time they (the frogs) feel like they don’t have to put in the work so much to make the princess feel wanted.   I hated when he would say that he wanted an independent woman, who was also a cool chick but would get upset when he would invite me out on the same day and I already had plans.   It’s like HELLO; I made plans because you were too busy to make plans with me in advance.   Can we all say INDEPENDENT WOMEN!  


The best part of this relationship/non relationship I speak of is that according to him, I was asked to be his “girl” at some point but …

Necessary Copulation

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My friend, Sonia, shared a story with me the other day regarding a friend of hers that I'm about to share with you.
Sonia's friend, Victor, has been married for something like 20 years.
Victor apparently has diabetes.  And something about diabetes, can cause impotency in men.  I don't know much about it, and since this isn't a blog that's meant to educate, I'll let YOU do the research.
Anyway, the man couldn't get it up for his wife.
In order to please her (and himself, of course).... he went and invested in a Vacuum Penile Pump Device.

http://www.webmd.com/erectile-dysfunction/guide/vacuum-constriction-devices





Now, he was ready to go! He was excited!! He could finally perform in the bedroom again! He and his wife could get back to having FUN!
Well, readers, he came home to find that his wife, was not as excited as he was regarding his new solution.
So she held out on giving up the goods for a good two years.



Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to interrup…

Self Fulfilling Prophecy

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Are you the kind of person that sits around thinking about the "worst case scenario" at every waking moment?
Do you stand at the top of the bleachers wondering what would happen if you fell down?
Do you stand by the train tracks paranoid that someone will push you into them just as a train comes flying into the station?
Do you constantly wonder what if.......what if.... what if...... especially when everything is going right?
And then all of a sudden everything goes wrong, just as you suspected it would!



Unless you had a bad feeling about something from the get (instinct) then this is entirely different...
This is a self fulfilling prophecy!!
You spend so much time focusing and "predicting" on the worst thing that just might happen that you directly or indirectly cause them to happen!

So instead of basking in the moment of glory you had earlier in the day... you went on and on and on about what might go wrong... and when it goes wrong, you say, "You see!!! I k…

Misery's Comfort

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This summer has given me an eagle eye in regards to my life.
My moods... what affects me... what makes me happy... what frustrates me.
I came to the conclusion that it's taken me forever to just embrace being content and happy.   I hear people tell me all the time that they don't know what the meaning of happiness is.   Or they don't know what feeling happy is like.



From my own experience, I can tell you what the problem is. It's that "we" (the so called unhappy) don't know what that feeling is because we're way too comfortable feeling that way. We're so used to feeling miserable that being happy puts us into panic mode.   It's like, "Oh shit! What's this? Where did this come from? There MUST be a catch."
And that just leads us into a negative self fulfilling prophecy of sorts and then we tend to go out of our way to find comfort in misery again.



 It took me 31 long years to finally understand that those things, people and situat…

Toxic Family

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Do you have a family member that basically sucks the life out of you?
Whether intentionally or not?



Maybe that mother/father/sibling/cousin is forever asking you for favors... money... rides here or there....etc.
That same relative is never ever around when you need them.... past, present and future.
Or instead of helping you, they look for ways to benefit from your misfortune.

("Your baby is sick and needs an operation? Hmm... how much money can I make off of this?")

Yet, somehow, you always manage to pull all stops for them...

Or they're just really good at playing that "guilt" card.

("But I'm your mother/father/sister/brother/cousin/son/daughter.....")

They are energy-sucking, blood-related vampires that you can't get rid of because at the end of the day, you're related to them.



Maybe this toxic family member thrives on drama.

They want nothing to do with you  unless you have gossip to feed them.
Or unless you're willing to listen an…

Froggy Fridays: Weak Men

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I went to a friend's birthday party a couple of weeks ago and while the turn out was not as expected, I still managed to meet some random dude.
It's funny because I made a decision as of around May/June that I was done meeting any dudes.
I decided that it's time to focus on me and my goals and that's that.
I'm just tired of slutting around dealing with men who really aren't all that interested in what I have to offer.

With that said, this random dude... we'll call him Derek, came right up to my table and made himself comfortable.
Cute guy.
Kind of short for my taste... I'm pretty pint sized myself....
Kind of small too... also not really my cup of tea... There's a lot of ME to go around... I need there to be an equal him or more in size.
Derek starts running his mouth about how he was also celebrating his birthday and that he was celebrating that weekend since his birthday is on a weekday and most of his friends and family work.
(Please remember th…

Life Is a Carnival

After my friend jokingly - or not so jokingly - told me he had a random love child (my bad for asking a dumb ass question, right?)...
I advised him that he enjoys "testing me..."   To which he responded, "I just don't care.  Life is a carnival..." blah blah blah
(whatever... I didn't save the damn conversation so maybe it's not word for word accurate.... )
I'm a huge believer in enjoying life...
...laughing until I'm in tears...
....dancing until my legs ache for days...
....smiling until my cheeks hurt...
And just plain being happy.
I truly love life even when I hate it.




But I try never to amuse myself at someone else's expense.
Unless they really deserve it... that is....    Meaning, if somehow the other person may get hurt or bothered in some way by my "joke"... I'd prefer not to joke at all. 
Now, we have to be fair. 
Some people are just overly sensitive and take things way too seriously....
But for those of us who aren&…