Froggy Fridays: Officer Needy

guess we could say he just fit my "type".
He was about 6'3" in height... and huge.
His arms were HUGE! and solid.

Office Needy insisted we go out right away... 

However, my work schedule was really getting out of hand, and I couldn't schedule anything that wasn't at least a week ahead of time.  I made it clear to him and he seemed to respect it.
He had a vacation he'd already planned and told me he would reach out after he returned.

Conversations with Officer Needy were normal enough.... I guess.



True to his word, Officer Needy returned from his trip and we hung out the day after...

He pulled up in his white 2013 - 4 door Scion Xb.
A family car, I would say....



I underestimated his size....
I'm short and fun sized compared to him, so I felt very small and defenseless.

I approached him expecting to get a hand shake and he goes for a hug...annnndddd attempts to kiss me (yep! on the lips... luckily I turned my head just in time and he gets my cheek instead).


I was prompted to send my roommate his name and phone number in case I went missing or was found left for dead or raped somewhere (and this was a habit I picked up for all future dates). 

When I asked Officer Needy what his plans for us were, he stated that he didn't have a plan.
He said he thought it best to just go with the flow.

Driving down the road, his decision was to check out the casino... 

It happened to be Senior 7 - Latin Night.
They had a salsa band playing and a crowd of retired dancers taking over the dance floor.
We sat at the bar and ordered a drink each.
When I finished my drink, Officer Needy asked me if I wanted another, to which I advised him that I did not. Maybe I should've had another drink... or three...

To make a long story short, Officer Needy pulled me onto the dance floor where we danced awkwardly... feeling like I was being jerked around more than being lead... and when I sat down, he danced by himself... making strange movements with his feet that resembled bootleg tap moves and spinning around every so often.... then he went on and on about what a great dancer he was - even though he seemed to be making a complete fool of himself - and that he could easily adapt to every genre.



He also went on and on and on about the Haitian culture and how similar it was to Latino culture.... blah blah blah...
If I wanted a lesson on culture, I would've majored in socio-cultural anthropology....

He told me that at 36 he'd been a cop for 5 years and that what prompted him to become a cop was the retirement fund.  He stated that he had no plans of being a hero.  He does his job and that's it.  Most of us may have this attitude but not many of is admit it.... Can we say lazy? 

Whenever we didn't have too much to say, Officer Needy would reach over to touch my hair... or play with my ear... and even leaned in for a kiss once or twice.... 10 times...
It was super uncomfortable and awkward.  Contrary to belief.. I love affection... but I wasn't loving it from some dude I just met...

Between Date #1 and Date #2... I managed to get into some sort of disagreement with Officer Needy.  I don't remember what it consisted of, but I do recall, how annoying he was.  I know it was something about how he was treating me as if I were his girlfriend...   I was clear about not wanting to jump into any sort of relationship and he kept acting as if we were already in one.  It just wasn't what I wanted.  He made it seem like he understood.. but then there was Date #2.



I asked Officer Needy what he planned on doing for Date #2.
He said he wasn't sure yet and I politely reminded him to let me know if he wanted to grab something to eat because I had just gotten my Invisalign in and had to take my kit with me if we were going to eat.  He said he didn't plan on dinner.   Great! Then I'll eat before the date.

Officer Needy promptly arrived... as agreed upon... It was strange... I felt like he was lurking somewhere nearby with the intent of arriving EXACTLY as planned.



Well, he picks me up..  we decide on Forest Hills.. which is maybe 20 mins away from my house.
After driving around for over an hour, listening to him educate me on Haitian culture... listening to him sing in Haitian Creole, English and pretending to know words in Spanish while really just yelling and ad libbing every other word... (making me nauseous with  his lack of talent)... on top of having him tell me all about my very own Alma Mater... John Jay College of Criminal Justice.. which he also happened to graduate from... (he made it a point to tell me our school specialized in... you guessed it... CRIMINAL JUSTICE)....

I interrupted him somewhere during his rant about how wonderful he was... and asked him exactly what he planned to do considering we were driving for what seemed like forever and Forest Hills was really a hop and a skip away from my house.  He says... "Oh I figure we'd do what most people do on dates... go have dinner."



I'm sure you can imagine that somehow my blood decided to boil just then.
I took a deep breath and said... "Well since we agreed earlier today that we weren't going to dinner, I already ate, but if you're really hungry, I can have a drink while you have dinner..."
"Oh well, you know I can always eat.. I'm a big guy...."
Really? I didn't notice considering your stomach makes you look pregnant....
I didn't say this, I just nodded and gave him a tight smile...

Finally, we arrive at chain restaurant Uno's... when there are a plethora of other restaurants we could have gone to ... by the way... We sat down and I watched him eat a bowl of soup, a basket of bread sticks and a huge plate of some pasta dish with shrimp while I sipped on my watered down margarita.

While walking back to his car, he says to me that he received a text while I was in the bathroom from his cousin.  He went on to state that it was her birthday and that she hadn't planned anything until the last minute and she was asking him to make an appearance.  He asked me if it would be a bother for me to join him since we were supposed to see a movie;  showed me the text to prove it was unplanned.  I don't know why I agreed to go with him other than it was at some bar in Brooklyn.  I was definitely not dressed for the occasion.



We arrive at the bar and not only are we there with his cousins but also friends of theirs that they'd known for yeaaaarrrssss....  Ugh.

Why am I meeting your family AND friends on a second date?  And why the hell did I agree to this?
It was actually not as bad as I thought.
Other than a question regarding our status... which thankfully Officer Needy replied to as: we were just getting to know each other and advised his cousin to stop being so nosey...
Here it was seeing Officer Needy in this environment was actually pretty interesting.

He suddenly became quite hilarious.... and smart.
Not the idiot who over explained everything to me as if I were in pre-school... and not the douche who felt it necessary to belt out every single song on the radio whether he knew the song or not... sometimes singing incomprehensible, nonexistent words.... (sounding like a cat in heat)....

I was actually enjoying myself and forgetting that I was cold.
Until... the pizzas arrived.
Remember how I mentioned the dinner Officer Needy had?
It was quite a huge dinner that hadn't even been fully digested...



Not even 2 hours later... he's stuffing himself with slice after slice.... after slice... after slice.
Usually, I don't really care, but maybe because he'd had so many strikes against him already, I was absolutely disgusted.
4 slices of pizza later... we're on our way out.

I was taken home (thankfully)... and made a decision I was going to stick this dude in the trash.
I'm not a fan of neediness, desperation, gluttony (unless I'm being the fat pig)... and I'm certainly not fond of people who put on shows for others thinking they're impressing them.

Sadly and desperately, since then Officer Needy has tried on several occasions to convince me that we are great together and that I owe him another chance. When refused and even threatened with a charge of aggravated harassment, he finally left me alone. 

Once in a while, I get blocked calls (I never pick up blocked calls) and on one occasion had "Omar" pick it up. While the person on the other end claimed to be a dude named Phil that I met on a site, she promptly hung up on him advising him loudly & clearly that he had a wrong number.

Needless to say, that I will never date another cop or give someone a 2nd date after a failed first date.






























Comments

  1. wow. lol. There are some real winners out there. You seem to find them all.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You got that right! Most of my own stories are getting old... (I think I'm getting better at choosing better ones...) Thanks for reading ;) xoxo

    ReplyDelete

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