Reminder

A little over two months ago, I received an email from an old flame.
It led to a series of emails which I decided to stop as it was really just boring me.
I knew eventually, all that would happen is that I would get annoyed with someone and take it out on the old flame and bring up things he did that would just not result in anything... but my aggravation.

I ended it by telling him that I wanted to move on.
That he has moved on by not only falling in love, but also getting married and posting it all over the world wide web... and if he was truly happy then he had no business writing the woman who once loved him and his children more than anything else in the entire world.

I mean, was that fair to his new wife and stepchildren? Probably not.

I told him it wasn't fair for me either.  That I should be able to find the same things for myself and live happily ever after.
Around this time, I was ready to really just throw in the towel.
I told "Omar" that I was basically one man away from just calling it quits and either joining a Buddhist monastery or just transforming myself entirely into the ultimate latina version of Samantha. 
I mean, I was very nearly there not too long ago...

I think, if anything, this small blast from the past did me a favor by reaching out (and, thankfully, leaving me alone for what I hope is forever). 

He reminded me that I was once capable of loving someone and that I could also be loved... not just wanted.
That what we had, even though it ended terribly, I could have some day again, but without all the drama, all the baggage and all the extras.  That this time around, it can be something real.

I'm still trying to accept that concept. 
But what I do know is that I'm somewhat close to finally getting what I've always wanted... and this time not only will it be worth it... but it will be real.

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