Fools In Love

Have you ever been so in love with someone that you were entirely blinded by all their bullshit and lies? That you fell into the hands of manipulation and allowed them into molding you to thinking and believing in them at all
times, regardless of the circumstances.

So in love that your friends tried to warn you about them and yet, you chucked up their warnings to them feeling jealous or hating on what you and your mate have? The truest love, right?

And then there was that one potential ex lover who seems to be scorned something awful, shows you proof of your mate's infidelity and yet... you chuck it up to them being crazy or obsessive because... well, who wouldn't be, right?  Your mate is absolutely perfect. Perfect for you and perfect all around. They are just... the prettiest girl you know... the handsomest man you know... someone whose arms you want to be forever in.... who you love to the moon and back... your baby... or babe, if you will.

A fucking moron, if you will....

Now, if you're my age, you've been there, done that... several times. And now the 20 something's are experiencing it. But here it is what happens at 30something?

You don't fall in love as quickly. You lose faith that there are any good mates out there... you make the choice to avoid trusting people and letting them into your space... your heart... your soul.

Until, one day, just when you didn't think you could take anymore, someone absolutely stunning comes along... someone who may have seemed average upon first look, but somehow their energy pulls you into their space... their smile is contagious... their eyes are sincere, liquidy, filled with an overwhelming pool of emotions. They not only pull you in, but they pull everyone in. Something about their aura... or vibe. Something that makes you want to believe in love again. That makes you want to forget all the rules you made for yourself.

But one thing you don't forget is that the last time you felt this way... the last time you let yourself go was disastrous. And you bury that in the back of your mind because you yearn so badly for love and all the feelings of joy... all those skipped heartbeats.... that refreshing feeling... you just want that and you let go.

And then it happens. Mr. Or Ms. Almost-perfect-exactly-what-you-think-you-want-and-need.... aka that fake fucker... drops the ball. History somehow finds a way to repeat itself and guess what... they were false... Just better at hiding it than others... Underneath all that glitter and shine... what lies is not a pool of emotion but a pool of manipulation. AND because you are 30something and not the 20 something year old that you used to be... the 20 something year old he has been keeping a relationship with this entire time, you call him out on his bullshit. You see his infidelity... his lies coming from a mile away... you try to give him the benefit of the doubt... but you know you shouldn't. Unlike his 20 something counterpart, you confront him with his nonsense until he has no choice but to give in and admit to his flaws.

Hopefully, their daughters and sons won't pay for their mistakes. Because isn't that what usually happens? After all, we all know how rough karma is....

And then you finally come to the conclusion that love is just not for you. It's not meant to be with you and anyone else. You're not meant to be tied down when all you come across are those who get off on hurting you. You're meant to be free. Not a fool in love.


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