The Extra

Why do people put so much energy into something when what they want at the end of the day is the absolute minimal?

I started talking to this one person not too long ago.  He went out of his way to tell me what an "amazing" person he was.  We went out, had a nice time.  He said he was interested.  We made plans to meet again on a Sunday.  He cancelled on me stating that he had gone away for the weekend, and had intentions of driving back on Sunday and would be tired.  But here it is, that Saturday night, he hits me up in the evening stating he just came back from where he had been.... Okay.  I decided not to address the situation.  I decided that maybe he would just be tired that Sunday, even though my instinct told me there was something off with this guy.

So we made plans for another weekday... a Thursday.  We went out for drinks, had a nice time.  Talked about far fetched things like going on a vacation.  The entire time, I'm thinking (yeah right that's not gonna happen)... and where did that come from? My instinct.  He tells me he booked a trip to AC with his parents,  who were going to be in town for 3 weeks, for Monday and Tuesday of the following week.  He asked me several times when he would see me again and we decided on Sunday.  Guess what?  He cancelled on me again because he had gone away for the weekend again and wouldn't be back until Sunday.  I believed him because he actually text me throughout the day and never once gave away anything other than what he said. But what was funny was that he says, "I want to see you as soon as possible though... so let's do Monday or Tuesday."  My response is, "Ok."  What I really wanted to say was, "Don't you have plans on Monday and Tuesday to take your parents to AC? Hmmmm... I kept quiet again.

We then agree to meet on a Tuesday for a 3rd date.  The morning of, he cancels telling me that his parents will be requiring all of his time throughout the week but he would be free on Saturday and hopes that I am too.  I decided not to even answer him.  What's the point? I've already caught you in several fibs and something inside told me there was something wrong with him.   Needless to say, that I quickly proved my own point to myself.  Turns out this guy was telling several other women the same thing and basically booking his week to meet up with various people.

Listen, in no way are we exclusive.  We are merely getting to know one another.  My issue isn't that he's dating other women.  My issue is that he is cancelling ON me to go out with other women.  Get your shit together.  There is absolutely NO reason to lie.  You don't have to give me details about what you're doing.  You don't owe me an explanation.  But don't expect me to hold off some time for you, when you are blatantly cancelling on me and using your family as an excuse.  Oh no.  Been there done that.  And three times in less than 2 weeks? Unacceptable.  Go ahead and meet other people. I'll do the same and we'll go our separate ways.

Truth be told that I actually prefer someone else I've had my eye on for months but someone who is being overly cautious (can't blame him) and didn't think I was interested when we first started talking.  Wrong he was.  Unfortunately, besides my own schedule, I was in a complicated situation and didn't want to drag him into it.  But see, there lies the difference.  I refuse to drag anyone into any nonsense or lie unnecessarily.

Let's be realistic, we singles do not need to give anyone explanations.  But the least we can do is treat others the way we would wish to be treated.  No one likes to be played with, lied to and/or used.  Especially when it's unnecessary.  Leave all the extra nonsense out and save it for someone you really click with later down the road.

Keep it real at all times.  Otherwise, you'll never find what you're looking for, even if it's simply a quick lay.

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