Trapped In My Comfort Zone

I have this amazing soul sister, Samantha, that I'm truly grateful for.
Samantha and I have something in common in that, in the past year or two, we've decided to make some serious changes with our lives.  And we did.  No need to put her business out there, but as you know in my case, I started to dip my toes into different life experiences in order to broaden my horizons and maybe find the path I'm supposed to be on.

She really has no idea how her own experiences reflect my own and make me really re-evaluate my life in order to make proper life decisions.  Even if momentary.

On the downside, she and I have also sort of became just a little less ambitious during the past rough winter we had and I think we're back on our introverted/super shy... "OMG I can't do this.." status.   Last week she mentioned a possible adventure that she has the opportunity to embark on and as usual, I was all "YES! Go for it!"  I'm pretty sure that while making huge decisions are super scary, she'll be more than okay.

But why aren't I?
Why can't I make up my mind?
I find that I continue to sign up for classes to broaden my options but the end result is going to make me a "Jack of All Trades and a Master of NONE."  And I can't have that.

I know I am meant to write because it's the only thing I've consistently done since I was 10 years old.  Pour my heart out into words and words until my hands hurt from writing in my journals and my eyes stung from all the proofreading.

Today, I learned that another friend of mine is about to embark on his own adventure and make a huge move due to a promotion he received at work.

And I think that's when I really said, WTF am I doing just waiting around for something to happen?
What happened to jumping out of my comfort zone and just going for the crazy shit that I've always wanted to do?  What happened to that itty bitty part of me that LOVES being the center of attention? Where the hell did she run off to?  Why did my introvert make such a wicked and ugly appearance in the past year?

Because I've been going after the WRONG things!!!
I have been so focused on how I feel rather than what I want that I allowed that to set me back a couple of notches and here I am yet again!

Not to mention that today on my way out of work, my supervisor basically warned me I was going to have a shitty day tomorrow.

If you happen to be reading this --Thanks for that by the way!! It was exactly what I needed to realize that I'm going to have to jump out of the safety net and throw myself head on into dark and dangerous territory at whatever cost.  I cannot continue to live my life this way.

With all of that said, I have decided to put an end to that and in the next week or two I am going to make one hell of a drastic change and just deal with the consequences....

Stay tuned.


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