Showing posts from August, 2014


Tracy did not exactly start off as an alter ego. She was more of a disguise. When I worked at this place called... "Crazyhouse Office"(clearly, not the name of the place but run by a narcissistic drug addicted psycho)... a call center I was working 10-12 hour shifts in, we were asked to pick names from a list, in order to make it easier for clients and customers to remember us.  Because clearly, a name like mine is going to get butchered in a million different ways and forgotten within minutes.  Of course, there was some kind of shadiness going on as well, and it was probably best to use aliases.  But that's a story someone else has already written about. The longer I worked at Crazyhouse Office  the more I started to detach myself from "Tracy."  Tracy became her own person.  I started to use the name when I would go out with my friends and I didn't want to use my own name when meeting the usual losers.  Tracy was bold and sexy at night... super polite d


Today, I was opening this sinister envelope and managed to slice the hell out of my hand. It was a shallow paper cut but it still bled and will leave a mark for a couple of days until it's completely healed over. What's really bothersome is that because it's right on the palm of my hand, it's going to take just a little longer to heal than normal because I wash my hands frequently.  So every single time my hand hits the water, I will be reminded by an irritating sting on my hand that just won't go away. Paper cuts are probably the most annoying minor injury you can get.  When they're first inflicted, it feels like you've been sliced by a knife.  But when you see that it's a mere cut, followed by a drop of blood, maybe two, and a bit of a sting, you are only left with annoyance.  While they heal fast, it's just so easy to cut yourself up time and time again by simply opening a book and flipping a page... or ripping open an envelope... I've

Experiencing People

I had a small epiphany today. Actually, I stole the epiphany from Omar. During one of our good ole inebriated conversations, I expressed the desire to investigate some information. She asked me why I even wanted to do that to myself and I really had no answer other than, I'm nosey. See, my investigations always lead to headaches, heartbreak, stress.... severely emotional roller coasters I'd much rather not engage in.  Actually, this week was full of those based on some smaller discoveries made without being in full on investigation mode. She told me a story regarding a situation in which someone who is currently a "good" person, was once not so good.  And advised that, that the viewpoint of anyone that person was involved with in the past, would be  an entirely different from her viewpoint based on the fact that every human relationship whether friendly or romantic relies upon how people interact with one another. Are you lost?  In other words, say, John and J

Friend Zone

There have been several incidents lately where certain individuals have crossed some of my and other women's friend zone boundaries  and I felt like this needed to be addressed. First of all, if you are not carrying an intimate relationship with someone - not necessarily sexual - there are certain terms of endearment you should steer clear from.  Especially, when you've been friends with a person for years and it never once occurred to you to use those pet names before.  If it's become habit, it's okay until you know the other person is dating someone.  If it slips, it's not at all a huge deal, but something where you're having a conversation with that person, and every other word is "babe," "chula," "sexy," "doll," etc... not okay.  I'm going to go ahead and admit that I am absolutely guilty of calling everyone I know "honey."  It initially started because it softened up whatever harsh shit I was about

Writer's Overload

I've been experiencing this strange craze lately where all I want to do is write.  Unfortunately, it hasn't translated into all the work related writing I should be doing.... that I am so very backed up on. No, what I have is writer's overload.  Rather than my typical bout of writer's block where months fly by without a word from me... now, I just want to write about anything and everything.  I guess it's the best way for me to express myself without really having to confront anything head on.  Sort of an escape from the realities of the things I actually have to deal with. Well, I guess if I can't physically run away, I might as well do it mentally. I realize that this overload correlates entirely to the way I'm feeling. What I mean to say is that I am currently on this extreme roller coaster of emotions and all I want to do is let all of my thoughts pour out right out of my mouth... and rather than put myself out there so candidly... I've tak