Part Time Friends

When we get to the end of the year, it's time to basically throw things away.

Clothes we'll never wear again....
Items we'll never use again...
And people we'll never speak to again.

Yes, people go in this category as well.

Two years ago, I made a decision to simply stop talking to someone I was friends with for a couple of years....
Nothing happened between us but I felt that the only time we were talking was when I was doing poorly in some way.  Not because I didn't try to reach out when I was doing well.  But for some odd reason they only wanted to be around to sort of "save" me.  They wanted to BE the reason I was happy and it was almost like they basked in my misery.  When I started to finally feel good, look good and bask in my own glory, she disappeared.  I wanted for her to take part in my happiness and maybe share with her the way friends could/would.. but she wanted no part.  And that last time... was the last time.  I decided that was it.

Real friends are around for you regardless of whether you're doing poorly or quite well.

Two years later, I found myself in a similar situation.
Someone I was friends with for a longer period of time asked me for a favor.
I'm still not sure why I said yes, other than I felt a sense of responsibility.
But as the months dragged on, I realized that this person only reached out to me to ask me questions about the favor.  And what's more is that almost two years prior to this, they really hadn't even called me to say, "Hi, how are you?"  I can actually remember the very last conversation we had on the phone which was cut short and never returned.

 Any text or phone call thereafter was solely based on what I could do for them.
Looking back at this friendship in the long term, I realized that this individual never served me a purpose.
As a matter of fact, our friendship was always based on what I could do for them.
Not to say that they asked me for anything, but what I'm saying is, I served them a purpose and they never served me one.
Friendships, like any other relationships, are give and take.  The giving and taking could be something as small as a listening ear for random nonsense about the latest shoes to something deeper like a broken heart. And another thing I realized about this person was how judgmental they'd become about other people, including me.
It was beyond irritating because I remembered clearly where they were not too long before they reached their current state... and trust me it wasn't pretty... and even more was that they've never struggled alone.
So they really never had any room to judge anyone else.
They've never done anything alone.  There was always a family member, friend or significant other to push them through.
While I don't hate on that (hey, take what you can - but don't be a user either, nah mean? show some gratitude)... I was just bothered that they seemed to think that other people had it made the way they did.  That everyone should have the same mentality and should be the same person.
And so with that, and the crazy 2015 that I personally had... I made a very conscious decision to back out of something that would've not only put me in a hole financially, but something that was already making me unhappy because here I was again, trying to people please when that individual never thought of anyone but themselves.

These are people that I categorize as part time friends.
Now, there's a difference between part time friends and friends you lose touch with over the years.

Friends that you lose touch with and reconnect with throughout the years, never change.  They are who they are in the beginning and end.
They remain faithful and you know in your heart if you ever needed their ear or shoulder they would be there, and they could absolutely say the same for you.

Part time friends, are the ones that change.  Fall off.  Simply move on.
They were those who never really cared about you but who you fit into their life.
Let's be honest, at some point in time, we've all been guilty of being a part time friend.

While you may not have hard feelings for these individuals, sometimes it's not a good idea to revisit those relationships.  A part time friend is someone who will burn a bridge with you or allow you to burn a bridge with them and never think twice about it.
Why? Because your ties were cut well before the fact.
It didn't take much to finish something off when it was already a done deal.

Maybe they didn't realize it but your friendship was over before they believed to declare it so.
The reality of it is, that you were way ahead of the game and knew this long before they caught on.

With that said....
It's the beginning of a new year.
It's time for:
New adventures.
New ideas.
New plans.
And new friends.


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