Unsolicited Advice: My Opinion

We all know how I feel about unsolicited advice.
Especially being that this would be my 3rd post (and probably not my last) about it. 
I figured I would write about the other side of that.  

I'm never ever one to give anyone unsolicited advice. 
I fight tooth and nail against telling people how I think things should be done. 
Unless it's a super casual conversation that requires opinions... I try not to give them. 
However, if Sally is telling me and Jenny about a situation, I may tell Jenny later on what I think Sally should do and let her give the unsolicited advice for me.  
That's much safer... for me.. not safer for Jenny being that she might take the blame... 

With all of that said, I'm usually the listener. 
I will rant all my woes to whomever I trust and I will do my very best to be that ear they need in return. 
I find that the best way to avoid giving people any opinion is by letting them go on and on and on about their situation and when they're done, give them the chance to typically look at me and say... "Well?? What do you think?" 
Once in a blue moon if there is some serious frustration in there, I will just go ahead and ask them if they want my advice, but normally wait until they ask. 
And once I'm done giving them my opinion, I'll follow up with, "But I don't know.. that's all you." 
That way I can't be held responsible for whatever they decide to do. 

What made me bring this up today?
I had a friend up until just recently that I cared for very much. 
In fact I loved this person very much and still do. 
Some time back, they told me that someone who was well known wanted to do business with them.  And they were very excited about it.  Because they were excited, I kept every single bad feeling about the situation to myself. I couldn't put my finger on it, but it just rubbed me the wrong way. 
All I told this person was to be careful. 
Later on, they had another meeting, and went ahead and made arrangements with this business person... 
This time they outright asked me what was wrong.  
I told them, something about it rubbed me the wrong way, but that they were smart enough to know better and that was it. 
They started working for this person and the business man required nearly half of my friend's profit.  
This time, I couldn't keep my mouth shut and I said, "Oh no, that's too much, not cool at all." 
My friend told me to relax, they knew what they were doing, etc. 
To make a long story short, that wasn't too long ago and today I found out through a mutual friend that I was right.  This business man went behind their back and pulled some sneaky little move. 

I remember this same friend saying once that I wanted to jinx them or I wanted bad stuff to happen to them.  They said it jokingly but you know there's truth in jest, right? 

That statement alone is why I never give any unsolicited advice or opinions about other people's lives. 
When you are an outsider looking in on the person you care for's situation and you see something shady, the first thing you want to do is try to save them from the mistakes they are about to make.  But as an experienced adult, I think we can all agree, that people are going to do whatever they want to do regardless of what happens later, as long as they want to do it.  Period.  There's no stopping someone when they're determined even if you make much more sense than they do. 

So the only thing you can do is keep quiet. 
And if they ask you what you think, but practical, stick to the point, avoid going into too much detail and just keep it real.  That's it.
You generalize and make profound statements about how society handles things and why they shouldn't try to follow society's expectations rather than follow their own instinct and you allow them to make their own mistakes because they're desperate to do something you damn well know isn't a good idea.
At least you waited until they asked, you told them what you thought and if they made the wrong choice, you get to be the friend to lean on and try to steer away from "I told you so's" because you never told them shit.... You just listened and gently made an attempt to guide them towards better choices.

And if you are no longer talking to that individual, you can take comfort in the fact, that they are simmering in negativity because they remember that you told them so. 

But never, under any circumstances advise them in anything unless they ask you to. 
And that's just my opinion.


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