Brief Moments of Insanity

Human beings disgust me. Every dirt bag from #45 to a little old lady who claims she birthed my mother to ex boyfriends who simply won't leave me alone long enough to let me live my life but instead choose to just drive me insane. I wish no one ill will. Not one person. Have I wished karma upon every loser who has walked the earth? Absolutely. I also wish karma upon those who do good in the world. But boy am I finally done with plastic humans. How can people live with themselves knowing they tortured their children, yet have the audacity to depend on them when they're old and frail? Or treat their grandchildren like the black sheep of the family, yet continue to ask for favors? How can people do things to others and feel no remorse at all? This year, I have to do everything I can to let go and release anyone or anything that makes me feel anger, resentment and just ignore those who again and again do their mightiest to resurface into my life. It's time to

3 weeks worth of bronchitis.  We are now entering the 4th week.  But, hey, at least it’s not pneumonia or heart failure.  Not yet, anyway! It’s funny when you get sick or you lose someone or something big happens to you... it becomes clear who is who in your life. And who is nothing at all.  I haven’t had much to write about lately because I’m trying to stay away from feeding egos or offending the few friends, I do have. It’s always easier to just speak my mind, anyway.  These days in stewing in my phlegm (i realize how gross that sounds) has left me home bound for a week, doctor’s orders and has given me much to think about.  I’m always grateful for the things I do have. As little as they may be. And those who are in my life as much as they may drive me nuts at times.  But I’m always forever grateful for those who have chosen to leave. Because had they not, who knows the stress that would await me on the other side of that door?  Moving forward, I’m leav

“Puerto Rico was born in me……” I was born in a hospital in Yauco, Puerto Rico back in 1981. Technology, at that time in a local town considered to be located in the “boondox,” was minimal. My birth wasn’t easy but I insisted to be brought into this world.   Weeks after my harsh entrance into this world, it was discovered that I had a heart condition.   A condition that could not be taken care of in the American Commonwealth of Puerto Rico. And so, my family did what they could to raise funds to get me to the states and get me the health care that I needed in order to survive.   Had I stayed in PR, I may not have lived past 6 months of age. Although I only lived in Puerto Rico the first 8 months of my life, the island is completely and totally ingrained in my soul. Every year, we revisited the island to break bread with the loved ones we left behind. And as far back as I can remember, every time I leave the island, I feel an intense sadness… as if I’m aban

In this day and age, it's hard to distinguish between the Nice Guy and the Good Guy and understanding that there is a difference. Anyone in the whole wide world can be nice. A serial killer can be nice, Trump can be nice... ANYONE can be nice. But that doesn't make them good. A good guy doesn't have to be nice. They simply have to prove that their intentions are always for good and with no malicious intent behind them. A good guy is genuine regardless of what others think of them. They stick to their guns and they're not always exactly "neat and clean." Good guys come in all shapes, forms, and colors. They have all types of backgrounds and will always do what's best for everyone, no matter how much it hurts because it's for everyone's best and not just his. People have the ability to become good because sometimes life forces them to. I once met a really great fuckin' guy a couple of years ago. The dude was super hood.

After wrapping things up with yet another frog the other day, I realized that I may just be alone for the rest of my life.   Don't we all feel that way when we encounter another romance related fail? Accompanied with that thought, came a memory of a time I went to the movies with my mom. It was right around the holidays about 9 or 10 years ago. My mom and I decided to go to the movies to see some depressing Will Smith film. We were there quite early and before the film started, my mom looked around and said... "For such a populated city, there are so many lonely people....". Upon observing what she was referring to, the theater wasn't full but comfortably filled and almost everyone there was entirely alone.   Now, it's true we don't know their story and I can't quite remember if it was New Year's or Christmas but I do remember that both she and I were pretty single at the time.   I remember feeling sad too because she was right.   So man

The Dating Olympics are brutal. I don’t care what anyone says.  Yes, of course, it can be fun and come with great stories to tell but if you don’t have a strong, steel backbone, it can tear your ass down.  It is straight up, survival of the fittest through and through with all kinds of tests, trials and tribulations. You really have to go into it without feelings and absolutely NO expectations. No expectations that it will go anywhere. No expectations that the other person will reciprocate an attraction.  And no expectations that the other person is even slightly human with a slice of empathy. I’ve become a bit of a savage, myself, when it’s come to dating. The words that come out of my mouth have a way of escaping and making people either laugh, appreciate my blunt sincerity, or run. I just can't allow myself to get stepped on. Back in June, I told a dude that I’ve gone on 4 dates within the past 4 years that he was fake.  Right to h

After several messages here and there, I figured out right away that this wasn’t going to go anywhere. Just for Mr. Slap Happy and I to hang out, it would be a 2 hour drive for either one of us….. The next conflict of interest was that he’s a “know it all.” In a conversation about not committing the same errors, I mentioned not compromising who I am as a person for anyone else and he insisted that it was a bad attitude because not every relationship is the same, therefore, if I was once flexible, I should continue to be so.   While compromising, finding a middle road, etc., is always an option… you know what’s not? Putting myself in an unhealthy situation for someone who basically holds no importance in my life.   Just sayin. Another conversation was had in which he was trying to tell me that going on vacation too often wasn’t good for me because I should be worrying about saving money for my future.  First of all, we are just getting to know each other.