The biggest problem with dating and relationships is that many people are not transparent right up front.

They like to play the guessing game.
A guessing game that can be very dangerous with many questions answered with "I don't know yet," or "Maybe"s.  
The problem is that if you truly don't want something, and the person you are pursuing does, then you are leading them to think you do or that you may change your mind and end up totally fucking up their plans.
You can't be a "go with the flow" person on every subject.
You've gotta have some direction.

If you have children and you're afraid that the other person will run away screaming, then clearly that person is not for you unless you're a deadbeat parent who doesn't really engage with your children anyway. But even then, say so.  And in that case in which you are a deadbeat, then there's clearly something wrong with you and the person  you're dating anyway.. so basically you're perfect for one another.

If you know the other person may want children and that you definitely do NOT want kids, then you must make that clear from day one.  Otherwise, one of you is going to be very frustrated and angry either because an unwanted child is born or no child is born and 10 years have passed and well... we all know some of us have limited biological clocks.

Basically, entering a relationship without that transparency will result in failure.

If you are not single, you must say, I am NOT single and this is my situation as to why I'm not single but still looking for something.
If you have children, you must say, I have 10 kids and they are my everything or I have 1 child and I never see them.

Life is much easier when you are just upfront with the person you are pursuing from the very beginning.

If you are perfectly happy in your life working a 9-5 job at minimum wage and the person you are pursuing is a go-getter who has BIG dreams and aspires to be more and wants to be with a like individual, then don't put on a front because at the end of the day that person has goals, and your stagnation is only setting them back.  Some people are perfectly satisfied with the minimum and you can find someone who will rock that lifestyle with you.

My point is this...
If you are afraid someone isn't going to like or love the you, you truly are, then that person is not worth your time.  You should be able to move forward confidently with a like minded individual with a similar path as yours.  You must be able to compromise, sure, but not pretend to be something you're not or completely change a part of yourself you are comfortable with just to appease them because the real you will rear its head from time to time and will ultimately destroy whatever you've built with this person because you weren't simply being genuine from the beginning.

Be you at all times, because there's always someone who is willing and able to tolerate the real you regardless of your baggage, your situation, and your character flaws.  There is someone for everyone, as they say and there's no reason to be anything but who you are at all times.

Someone will love you even if you're emotional, even if you're married, even if you're a dead beat or a slut... there is someone for everyone.

Someone will always be understanding and tolerable of the real you.
There's no need to fool someone into falling for a character you've made yourself into albeit temporarily.

You cannot claim to be an honest individual who knows what they want and what they need out of life and goes for it, if you are not being transparent at all times.

Be you. Be genuine.
Be transparent at all times.


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