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Showing posts from May, 2018

Distractions/Reminders

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I believe that person who crawled under my skin and snuck their way into my feelings and very nearly succeeded in hooking me, came to me as a lesson... or a reminder.



I have been on this one track lately about how the only thing I need to be focusing on these days is me.  And I've had a plan that I've been sticking to.
I started with pursuing an actual career... and now I am going after another very big goal while working still hustling on the side.

I almost allowed myself to get sidetracked by an unnecessary distraction.
Why?
Because I thought I needed to fix something that didn't need fixing at all.
And because something about this distraction woke something up in me that's been sleeping for 3 years.

What I needed to do was sincerely apologize one for my previous behaviors - which I did - and keep it moving. 
What I actually did, was apologize more than once regarding my previous behaviors and lingered to see what would happen.

This, while knowing in my heart that th…

Now and Then

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My mind is a filled pool overflowing with thoughts and emotions.

Lately, I've been thinking about how I nearly ended up in a repeat of my last relationship.
My last relationship was very rushed... lasted just a little over a year, and was one of the biggest disasters ever.

While looking back, I am reminded that it could've always been worse and it totally has been worse... we were just so stupid.
We were both in the same place in our lives and we just jumped in thinking we were going to help solve each other's problems without just dealing with the obvious emotional turmoil we were both in.
And things only got worse when my mother passed away and his ex spouse took him to court.

He wasn't a bad person and I am of a firm belief that neither am I; but we were bad for each other.
When I think back, I wish I would've listened to my incredibly loud instinct and stayed away.
I was desperate for one particular reason, and I should have realized that wasn't a good enou…

Mother's Day

This is the 2nd Mother's Day without my own and the 3rd in a row I don't get to spend with her.
I blame 2 people to include myself for that but I can't do anything about that.
The thing about regrets is that you live with them forever and in some cases, you simply can't change anything.
This is one of those cases.

What I can do and have been trying to enforce consistently is tell my friends and remaining family members to reach out and show love to those that are still here because you never know when they may not be anymore.

On Friday night, I really went in on someone close to me and insisted they buy their "difficult" mother a card and give her a damn hug because I happen to know she wants and needs that and it won't cost him a damn thing.
And that he should do it regardless of the reaction he gets from her.

Madre es unica. 

In most cases, anyway.
The thing is you're lucky to have your parents on borrowed time, even if you don't realize it.
Even…